I've been working on a construction site for a few weeks now, cleaning and doing odd jobs. It's an interesting place full of interesting people, and I've composed a short list of rules for blending in, should you ever end up working construction yourself...
1. Everyone is bud.
From the venerable, mulleted 60 year old to the 18 year old high school student, they're all bud. And they're all your bud.
2. If there's space on your vehicle, a confederate flag should go there.
Alternatively, there's no history worth knowing after 1865.
3. Verbs are the best parts of speech to butcher.
Of course, everything else is also fair game.
4. "Borrowing" others' tools is a time-honored tradition.
...but God help you if you touch their food or drink.
5. Anytime is a good time to bitch about "that bitch" you pay child support to.
Everyone around will understand.
6. If you want reasonable conversation, find the electrician.
He'll be level-headed.
7. You will acquire nicknames. They will not be endearing.
Try "hall monitor" and "Mr. Tallahassee" on for size.
8. If you use a fancy word enough, it will catch on and spread, contagiously.
I've got everyone talking about the site's "atrium" space.
9. Empty 10 gallon buckets are valued multi-tools.
Use for carrying trash or tools, as a chair while working, or as a step stool for ogling passersby over the fence. "Borrowing" these is also tradition.
10. If it goes in your mouth, its wrapper goes on the ground.
Someone else will clean it up.
11. Don't work too hard, now.
You might finish everything in a timely fashion.
No comments:
Post a Comment